You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
