How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
