yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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