On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
