If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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