Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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