who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
