so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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