found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
