I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Acid is not a monday night drug
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
