question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
