he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
