Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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