Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
