and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
