I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
