It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
