rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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