I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
