Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize