hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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