I hate your face
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
