What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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