She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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