Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
