Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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