I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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