I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
