Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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