he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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