if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
