I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
