If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
