I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
