Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
