You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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