Buhtt sex?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize