You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
