I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
