I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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