i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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