it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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