You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
