Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize