Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
