Im at strip club and am horny
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
