You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
