If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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