sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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