Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
