he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
