let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
