my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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