my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
