i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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