I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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