I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he fucked my hip out of place.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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