why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
