every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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