ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
