Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize