and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
