I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
