Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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