I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize