I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
