If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
nutella sex= disaster
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The power of my boobs compel you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
