It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
