I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
