I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
