Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
